i don't want to view life as a series of disappointments, but sometimes it just seems that way.

funny how some things fall at exactly the right moment. i know this trip to buffalo will be insanely cold, but it will warm my heart.

i really like it here, but the saying, "there's no place like home", rings so true right now. i need to see my friends, and get hugs, and drink beer.

i don't even remember the last time i had a beer.

i think i need to take another break from dating. i need to acquire a tougher skin. but maybe not, maybe the fact that i am so sensitive is what makes me, me. the momma says it is a good thing. i really should just listen to her more. she said, "be careful sarah, you have a soft heart". why do moms have to be so spot on?

maybe i will try an experiment next time and just do what she says. i bet it will turn out the way she says. she has the magical mom knowledge. yea, i'm the biggest mommas girl ever. i don't care. she's amazing and the only one who has never let me down. she always knows the right thing to do, and she is such a great example of an amazing woman. she never acts in spite, and she learns from life and moves on. she truly lives everyday to its fullest and appreciates all that life had to offer. it can also be a double-edged sword. i am a child of privilege and have been given more or less everything i want and need from my mother. i am spoiled. i expect so much from people, and i think that i expect people to be so great like her, which is asking way too much. i have also been extremely spoiled by (e:hodown), who i refer to as mom #2. it is insane. who else has a mom and sister that pays for fancy dinners, lovely trips, and pretty jewelry. especially since living here; the term, "the good life", seems underrated. i get to live in one of the most beautiful places i have ever seen, rent free, along with all of the perks that come with it. so, when other areas of my life don't match up, i shouldn't be so alarmed. i don't think many things will be as good as the two leading ladies in my life. i will just have to accept it, because most people aren't nearly as lucky as i am. i can say, i have two people in my life, who i know will never let me down. i wish i could say the same for myself, but that i am working on!

now, if i could just learn a thing or two from her, i would be good to go. unfortunately, being young seems to be the endless trial and error period. it goes something like this:

• lead yourself into the unknown
  
• realize you should not have done that
  
• feel the burn
  
• probably do it again, unless you realize not to

so, with that said, i accept my role as a ignorant creature who will be tested for years to come. i just hope i don't come out on the other end with too many wrinkles, but i suppose there is always botox for that.